From Chloe, with love

PLEASE NOTE: This was written and saved on 18.9.12 for automatic publishing.

In my last post, I talked about the silly little things I would miss while I am away.  Well, that stuff is good, but this is where it gets real.  Be warned, I may be nicer about you in this post than I ever have been or will be again. It’s all true, but as I have said before, I am a coward.  Or I just explain my feelings better in writing than any other method. Yea, I’m sticking with that one.

So I’m getting this out of my system right now. Here are the things I will REALLY miss.

HOME:  Not just the pile of bricks and mortar but everything it holds and represents.  Comfort, safety, security, love, memories, but most of all, my dad.  I can’t begin to explain just how much I will miss him.  The quote that jumps to my mind is from ‘Friends’, when Ross angrily asks Rachel why she didn’t say goodbye to him as she was leaving to move to Paris.   Rachel responds emphatically: ‘I cannot even begin to explain to you how much I am going to miss you! When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go!’  I hope I manage a better goodbye than that, but I know there are still things I won’t say, or I’ll make some stupid comment to ruin the mood.  So I hope that quote sums things up.

And although he’s rarely there, home still includes my brother.  When I need an honest, alternative opinion, he’s the one I turn to.  He is constantly challenging me, making me question everything and look at things from different angles.  His opinion is always one I value because I know it will be completely honest and frills-free, and more often than not it will be bloody hilarious.  We may not always agree but he never fails to make me think about other options.  His strength and his independence have always been traits I admired, and he always encourages me to get out on my own and see the world at any cost.   He always means what he says and I have so much respect for him for that.  

FRIENDS:  My friends are everything to me.  I have a few scattered all over the place, and some of them I rarely get to see but still will always consider them to be friends.  But this section is more specifically for the 3 friends who have really been there for me recently.  They should know who they are. 

There is the ever-loyal, ever-reliable one, who works harder than anyone I know to maintain her relationships.  I can’t express how grateful I am for her efforts, because she makes being her friend easy, and although I don’t always show appreciation for it, she is constantly helping me to be a better person.  She’s my sister, and the only reason I’m not dragging her ass out to Nepal with me is because I would be constantly worrying about her out there.  When I'm struggling with decisions, it's her voice that I hear in my head that steers me the right way.

Then there’s another friend, who had almost slipped away and somehow had the courage to make the steps to come back and remind me what a wonderful person they are and why I need them in my life.  Their vivacity and joie de vivre encourages me to be positive and count my blessings, especially when times are hard.  They prove that true friendships aren’t affected by absence; they will remain intact ready to be picked up from where they were left off, and I really hope this is the case when I come home.

Then there’s the surprise friend, the one I never expected to become so important.  This friendship snuck up on me.  Over the time I have known them they have relaxed, softened, warmed and became someone whose company I now crave.  The more I learned about them, the more I wanted to know.  And what I found was unanticipated; a person with a wonderful sense of humour, a newly-acquired (and all-the-more admirable) positivity, and a genuinely open, enquiring mind.  Their ability to provide comfort without even realising it is something that makes me glad to spend time with them, and I will miss seeing them every week.

The friends I made on my last Nepal trip will be especially missed while I am there this time, as I won’t have them there for support and to help me make sense of the strange things I encounter.  They all brought such different opinions and experiences to the table, and helped me appreciate the trip so much more.  They became my home away from home and I will miss them so much when I visit places we once went together. Each and every one of them had a lasting effect on me for a variety of reasons and I couldn’t have been more grateful for each of them.  When I was deciding if I should take the leap of faith and do this trip alone, they were the ones who encouraged me do it and told me not to look back.  When I find things tough on my journey, they will be the ones who can understand the most and will be the ones I turn to when I’m not sure what I am doing.

FAMILY: My extended family come and go from my life, but are no less important when I don’t get to see them as often as I would like.  My dear grandmothers are the epitome of who I want to be.  Strong, beautiful matriarchs who are compassionate, wilful and resilient.  If I can do anything to be more like them, this trip will be the way for me to do it.  As for my kind aunts and uncles and my always-entertaining cousins, they will be important points of contact while I'm away and I will look forward to sharing my adventures with them and getting their reactions as I travel.  I can always rely on them for love and support, no matter how far away they may be.

I know there may be times I don’t talk about missing home, or family, or friends while I am away.  But you can be sure, that even if I don’t say how much I miss all of this, I will be thinking it, and simply putting it aside to try and remain present while I’m in Nepal.  I want to make the most of the experience, and even if I talk about the wonders of travelling solo, you will all still be with me wherever I go.

And on that note, I think I have prattled on for long enough.  

Maya garchu!

Two weeks and counting...

In exactly two weeks I will be heading through Heathrow airport, on my way to board the plane.  I don’t know where all the time has gone, I really don’t.  It has flown at an unrelenting pace since I booked my tickets in May.  Not a day goes by when I don’t think of yet another thing to do before I go.  If it isn’t written down, it is quickly replaced by something else and gets forgotten.  Suddenly my careful packing lists (yes, I’m one of those people) are not only a hypothetical document of possible suitcase-fillers, but actual records of the precise items I need to bring with me.  So far I have packed and weighed my suitcase, removed some things, weighed it again, emptied it, bought a new suitcase (the first one weighed 5.4kg empty, hardly ideal), filled it and weighed again.  It now sits patiently, expectantly, on the landing outside my room, just waiting for the final items to be stuffed in and the padlock clicked, signalling the real start of the trip.  The lists, highlighted to show items still to be purchased (I told you I was one of those people), are getting less colourful as the days go on and I collect more travel items and check them off the inventory.

Time is flying even faster now that I know how little is left, so every day counts.  Whether it means spending just a little bit of extra time with the people I care about, or just making provisions for my absence, there is a constant stream of thoughts, plans, and general neuroses to contend with.  And while still working a full-time job I might add!  But as head-frying as it all is, it’s the good sort; it’s like my brain has been slapped on to a George Foreman grill rather than into a vat of hissing oil.  It’s just a lot to process at once while trying to stay in the present and make the most of my time here.

Which brings me to my next point; the things I’ll miss.  I’m cataloguing them now for public consumption because I am determined to make the most of my time away without thinking so much about what I’m missing at home.  I made that mistake the last time.  I became focused on things I wanted from home, which meant that sometimes I didn’t appreciate what I had there. 

I’ve spent a long time this evening writing about people I will miss, and about the qualities that make them the sort of person I want to be, but I don’t want to post it here until I am out of the country because it is too soon for goodbyes and I am a massive coward.  So for now I will just note the more frivolous things I will be missing:

Nate the hamster (AKA Fuzzy Furry Fat Face).  My bed.  Fruit Gums.  Amber.  Steak.  Getting to see Muse live in the UK.  All the good TV coming back on in October.  The clothes I can’t bring with me.  BT Infinity.  Christmas being marketed before Halloween.  Halloween! Banter with colleagues.  Wearing proper make-up.  Choral society.  Crisp, wintry scarf-and-gloves weather.  Hot showers.  Cheese.  Cheesecake.  Driving.  Granny’s Sunday lunches followed by ice-cream and jelly.

I’m sure I’ve missed lots of things, but my lightly-grilled brain is struggling again.  And despite the recurring references, I swear I'm not blogging on an empty stomach, though you'd be excused for thinking I was hungry considering all the food mentions and metaphors.  

As for the over-emo people-I'll-miss list … well, you can see it in 2 weeks ;)

Why Nepal? Why not?

Something that comes up when I say I am going back to Nepal is the question about my choice to do so.  Why go somewhere I’ve already been when I have travelled so little in my 24 years and there are so many other options?  To be fair, I've questioned that myself.  There are a lot of reasons.  A lot of it had to do with timing.  My job in the U.K. finishes at the end of September, and I wanted to be home for my birthday and Christmas so I could spend it with my family and friends.  This coincided beautifully with the best season to explore Nepal, when the monsoon has left the country blooming and fresh, with crystal-clear views of the Himalayas.  The weather is hot and dry without being stifling, with cool nights.  This is the high season for tourism in Nepal, which will give me the opportunity to hang around popular tourist haunts in Thamel to meet like-minded people from all walks of life.  My trip also worked in well with two of the most important festivals in the Nepali calendar, Dashain and Tihar.  These are sure to be exciting times, and I am particularly excited to spend Tihar (the festival of lights) in Kathmandu with the wonderful people I met on my last trip.

So, apart from having free time on my hands and a desire to see more than 3 days of sunshine this year, why Nepal?  Well, they say that you go to Nepal for the mountains but come back for the people.  This is certainly true for me.  The people I met in 2010 were some of the friendliest, happiest people I’d ever encountered.  They were kind, helpful, and generous.  They showed me respect for coming to their country to help them.  They were funny and inquisitive, finding me as interesting as I found them.  In Nepal, I can be sure to have a friend at hand if needed, and that thought is a real comfort.

Safety was a big concern when first planning to go abroad.  Some of you might laugh at me being so cautious.  Others might think I'm reckless to be going anywhere on my tod.  As a lone female traveller, I have to say I was nervous at the thought of being completely thrown in the deep end by going to unfamiliar countries.  Though I’m only familiar with a small part of Nepal, this would be a comfort, giving me a base to return to when I explored new parts of the country.  I would have the best of both worlds; seeing new, exciting places while still being able to remember where to get the bus in Thamel, or how to ask for something in the local language.  I already know some of the things to avoid doing or saying so as not to cause offence, something which can be a bit of a cultural minefield, especially when the rules appear to make absolutely no sense.  It also means that learning these things the first time around was not a waste of time, but something to draw on again.

There are still a lot of other places I want to go… Japan, Kenya, Thailand, Canada for a start.  But there’s a big part of me that would prefer to share the experience of these new places with somebody, be it a friend, family member or partner.  The big difference with Nepal is that being there will be about me, about revisiting a place that changed me in a big way.  It’s my way of being selfish, taking myself out of my comfort zone and giving myself time and space to learn about myself, and where I’m going next.  If I’m honest, the balmy weather and time off to hang around cafés and markets as well as touring through jungles and having adventures on the lakes instead of worrying about work are also big pluses in the equation.  But knowing that I can do all of this, as well as taking time to work at the orphanage with the kids, means I can try to achieve a balance between looking after my own interests while taking some time doing something worthwhile.   I needed to challenge myself and this was the one way I knew to do it.  How I deal with it all on my own will be an important rite of passage, or at least I hope it will be.  If I can handle it all without major catastrophe, I'll know I've done something right.

Introductions

Let’s get the introductions out of the way early, shall we?  For those of you that land on this blog out of the blue, let me just say hey, how ya doing? My name is Chloe.  I’m going to Kathmandu, Nepal.  The clues are in the title but the niceties must be observed.  For those of you that know me ... well, that first bit wasn't really for you.

Anyway, in 2010 I was lucky enough to be given the rare opportunity to go to an incredible country, meet remarkable and wonderful people and have the experience of a lifetime.  I was a volunteer with Platform2, a scheme funded by the U.K government’s Department for International Development and run by Christian Aid.   I lived in a small village called Sirutar, nestled in the lush Kathmandu Valley in Nepal, helping to build a school there while learning about global issues such as agriculture, water and sanitation, healthcare and education.  I took away cherished memories from that trip, and since my return home I have been eager to get back and have a second go at Nepal.  

This October, I will be doing just that, and this time, I will be doing it alone.  I will be spending 8 weeks based near Kathmandu by an orphanage where I will be volunteering with 30 children.   I will also be taking time to visit the city of Pokhara and the mighty jungles of Chitwan, as well as taking in the cultural splendour of the Dashain and Tihar festivals.  I'll be saying goodbye to much of western civilization, eating so much rice it will be coming out of my ears (though if last time was anything to go by, that may be the only place it's coming out of) and assaulting my senses with curry for breakfast every day.   Basically, I'm taking myself out of my comfortable little life here in Northern Ireland to bring myself back to what's important, as well as using the time to look to the future and decide where I want life to take me in 2013 and beyond.

I’m hoping that this blog is an effective way of communicating with friends and family back at home while I’m away, as well as reaching out to a wider audience of those wishing to take a trip to Nepal.  I’m sure I’ll experience a few things while I’m away that will be worth sharing so I hope some of you stick with me and enjoy what is going to be a memorable and exciting journey.

And in case my excitement for this trip hasn’t been adequately expressed…

I’M GOING BACK TO NEPAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!