PLEASE
NOTE: This was written and saved on 18.9.12 for automatic publishing.
In my
last post, I talked about the silly little things I would miss while I am
away. Well, that stuff is good, but this
is where it gets real. Be warned, I may
be nicer about you in this post than I ever have been or will be again. It’s
all true, but as I have said before, I am a coward. Or I just explain my feelings better in
writing than any other method. Yea, I’m sticking with that one.
So I’m getting this out of my system
right now. Here are the things I will REALLY miss.
HOME:
Not just the pile of bricks and mortar but everything it holds and
represents. Comfort, safety, security,
love, memories, but most of all, my dad.
I can’t begin to explain just how much I will miss him. The quote that jumps to my mind is from
‘Friends’, when Ross angrily asks Rachel why she didn’t say goodbye to him as
she was leaving to move to Paris. Rachel responds emphatically: ‘I cannot even begin to explain to
you how much I am going to miss you! When I think about not seeing you every day,
it makes me not want to go!’ I hope I manage
a better goodbye than that, but I know there are still things I won’t say, or
I’ll make some stupid comment to ruin the mood.
So I hope that quote sums things up.
And although he’s rarely there, home still includes my brother. When I need an honest, alternative opinion, he’s the one I turn
to. He is constantly challenging me,
making me question everything and look at things from different angles. His opinion is always one I value because I know it will be completely honest and frills-free, and more often than not it will be bloody hilarious. We may not always agree but he never fails to make me think about other options. His strength and his independence have always
been traits I admired, and he always encourages me to get out on my own and see
the world at any cost. He always means what he says and I have so much respect for him for that.
FRIENDS: My friends are
everything to me. I have a few scattered
all over the place, and some of them I rarely get to see but still will always
consider them to be friends. But this
section is more specifically for the 3 friends who have really been there for
me recently. They should know who they
are.
There is the ever-loyal, ever-reliable one, who works harder than anyone
I know to maintain her relationships. I
can’t express how grateful I am for her efforts, because she makes being her
friend easy, and although I don’t always show appreciation for it, she is
constantly helping me to be a better person.
She’s my sister, and the only reason I’m not dragging her ass out to
Nepal with me is because I would be constantly worrying about her out
there. When I'm struggling with decisions, it's her voice that I hear in my head that steers me the right way.
Then there’s another friend, who had almost slipped away and somehow had
the courage to make the steps to come back and remind me what a wonderful
person they are and why I need them in my life.
Their vivacity and joie de vivre encourages me to be positive and count
my blessings, especially when times are hard.
They prove that true friendships aren’t affected by absence; they will
remain intact ready to be picked up from where they were left off, and I really
hope this is the case when I come home.
Then there’s the surprise friend, the one I never expected to become so
important. This friendship snuck up on
me. Over the time I have known them they
have relaxed, softened, warmed and became someone whose company I now crave. The more I learned about them, the more I
wanted to know. And what I found was
unanticipated; a person with a wonderful sense of humour, a newly-acquired (and
all-the-more admirable) positivity, and a genuinely open, enquiring mind. Their ability to provide comfort without even
realising it is something that makes me glad to spend time with them, and I will miss seeing them every week.
The friends I made on my last Nepal trip will be especially missed while
I am there this time, as I won’t have them there for support and to help me
make sense of the strange things I encounter.
They all brought such different opinions and experiences to the table,
and helped me appreciate the trip so much more.
They became my home away from home and I will miss them so much when I
visit places we once went together. Each and every one of them had a lasting
effect on me for a variety of reasons and I couldn’t have been more grateful
for each of them. When I was deciding if
I should take the leap of faith and do this trip alone, they were the ones who
encouraged me do it and told me not to look back. When I find things tough on my journey, they
will be the ones who can understand the most and will be the ones I turn to when
I’m not sure what I am doing.
FAMILY: My extended family come and go
from my life, but are no less important when I don’t get to see them as often
as I would like. My dear grandmothers
are the epitome of who I want to be.
Strong, beautiful matriarchs who are compassionate, wilful and resilient. If I can do anything to be more like them,
this trip will be the way for me to do it.
As for my kind aunts and uncles and my always-entertaining cousins, they will be important points of contact while I'm away and I
will look forward to sharing my adventures with them and getting their
reactions as I travel. I can always rely
on them for love and support, no matter how far away they may be.
I know there may be times I don’t talk
about missing home, or family, or friends while I am away. But you can be sure, that even if I don’t say
how much I miss all of this, I will be thinking it, and simply putting it aside
to try and remain present while I’m in Nepal. I want to make the most of the experience, and even if I talk about the wonders of travelling solo, you will all still be with me wherever I go.
And on that note, I think I have
prattled on for long enough.
Maya garchu!
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